i am simple
i am far
words the rain have written from the heart
i am calm
i am damp
like the shore of a beach on play-doh sand
i have sailed
and will continue
till the flat world ends
and i’ve seen where the sunset reaches
crappy.
why? cuz i have congestion and a crazy cold
and because lately i’ve been feeling like my roommates kinda don’t like me.
i dunno.
maybe i’m overthinking…
but i hate it.
i might have to live somewhere else next year
love musical theatre
now i remember why i took theatre in the first place at college
i’ve forgotten how much i loved being on stage, singing songs, and playing characters to tell a story
it’s such an amazing feeling when you know you’ve done a great job, and the audience felt the same way
when they applause, congratulate, give you flowers, and say you did really great. it’s a high no drug can
compare to.
Flower Drum Song took away so much time from me, but i was totally okay with it. i was enjoying every
minute of rehearsals, i had a ton of fun even if some of the other cast members seemed like they weren’t
my only beef is that FDS had only one performance.
we spent so much time learning the songs and perfecting them to our ability just for one night,
it’s a shame really.
even if none of the cast members would read this, i just wanted to let them know
that i’m really greatfull to them for giving me back my joy of theatre
i can’t wait to audition for more things
sarah is going to get me headshots and i’m going to start learning more monologues
on another note
appastar practice today!
it’s been so long, and i can’t wait to play music again
love, allen
to love, and be loved
i would like to measure myself right now, in thoughts not pounds. lets begin:
it’s been a very long winter, and it’s still going on right now, i have countless conversation starters because of the weather. “Dang it’s going to snow again?” “Can you believe this winter?” “Cold!” Lot’s of those have happened and have lead to some good conversations with people. It really is long though, the winter. The cold doesn’t seem to want to leave us for some reason, i so very wish that spring could push itself forward in front of winter. it’s spring’s time to shine, or bloom really. easter, the pastel colors, the brightness in the sun. spring is one of my favorite seasons, not too hot not too cold, layers are still okay, and bright colors are suggested. the showers that come along with spring may be quite the hassle sometimes, but the point of spring is a fresh start, to cleanse yourself and feel new. i want that feeling right now, i feel as if i’ve drifted a little and i need somewhat of a new start, maybe that’s why i’m anticipating spring so much, orrrr the winter has just been way too long.
my japanese is rough, japanese 2 is tough, japanese 1 was a breeze, i can’t believe how much studying in need to do on my spring break. poo.
my life as an artist is going through a series of hills and rough roads. i’m never really driving on one easy plane, but who is right? many things i need to accomplish, many. my patience is running low on fuel, i need some of that inspiration-motivation-concentrated juice to fill me up again. i feel excited, and frustrated at the same time about my goals. it’s not easy that’s for sure, but nothing ever is. do you ever feel like the window is slowly closing? you want to push yourself out of it so much, but your body feels heavy and your legs aren’t strong enough to carry the whole weight? i’m fat in the soul right now. i need to work out these legs to make them stronger, make them more fierce, so i won’t even need to worry about jumping through the window in time. all i would have to do is force the window open with my legs and jump to new heights. sometimes i feel like no one believes. no one believes in what i want to do, it’s a numbing sort of feeling really. the feeling of people losing hope in you. you learn to subdue it, to conquer it, but in turn it sometimes saddens you more, but only when you think about it right? hah, so let’s not think about it.
wingmen, i need those wingmen to be by my side. i can’t fly without them no way, i’m not aerodynamic enough. i don’t have big enough wings. i wish i could scream to them from the top of my lungs, “keep flying with meeee!” but paths go different ways, they lead to different roads, they hold different shapes. all you can do is shrug, and go on your merry way. i need my scarecrow, i need my lion, i need a tinman, and i most definitely need my toto. “to Oz my friends! we’re off to see the wizard!” dang that wizard is hard to see, i mean, he’s got a massive head, but he is very hard to reach. we can do it though.
my nine year old cousin andrea wrote me a letter, and boy do kids say the darnest things 
“Dear Allen, 3/14/08
I admire you because you play the guitar is a band
and I’m trying to do the same thing. You’re very fun because we rollerblade
together in the summer. ou are very nice because you play with me. You’re
very nice, fun, and smart. I thank you for playing with me and doing other
stuff with me. I really hope you write back. You’re a really nice cousin. I
remember when you showed me card tricks. I really liked it, you’re really
great!!!
Love, Andrea <3
P.S. I don’t think you know this.”
If that doesn’t keep you going then i don’t know what does.
lalalalalala, falalalalala, singsingsingsing,
for appastar and flower drum song.
tatatatatamwaooooooooo!
*crash*
